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The Ten Commandments For Parents
of Athletic Children
Reprinted from The Young Athlete by Bill Burgess
I.
Make sure
your child knows that-win or lose, scared or heroic-you love him/her, appreciate
their efforts, and are not disappointed in them. This will allow them to do
their best without a fear of failure. Be the person in their life they can look
to for constant positive reinforcement.
II.
Try your best to
be completely honest about your child's athletic ability, his/her competitive
attitude, their sportsmanship, and their actual skill level.
III.
Be helpful, but
don't coach him/her on the way to the pool or on the way back, or at breakfast,
and so on. It's tough not to, but it's a lot tougher for the child to be
inundated with advice, pep talks and often critical instruction.
IV.
Teach them to
enjoy the thrill of competition, to be "out there trying," to be
working to improve his/her swimming skills and attitudes. Help him/her to
develop the feel for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.
V.
Try not to
re-live your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure;
you lost as well as won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, you were not always heroic. Don't pressure your child
because of your pride. Athletic children need their parents so you must not
withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling, sensitive free spirit out
there in that uniform who needs a lot of understanding, especially when his
world turns bad. If he/she is comfortable with you-win or lose-he/she is on
their way to maximum achievement and enjoyment.
VI.
Don't compete
with the coach. If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will run from
enchantment to disenchantment, etc.., with your athlete.
VII.
Don't compare the
skill, courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team, at
least within his/her hearing.
VIII.
Get to know the
coach so that you can be assured that his/her philosophy, attitudes, ethics,
and knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under his/her
leadership.
IX.
Always remember
that children tend to exaggerate both when praised and when criticized. Temper
your reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
X.
Make a point of understanding
courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb mountains,
and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight, but turn to jelly if a bee
approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Explain that courage is
not the absence of fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear of
discomfort.
Remember,
all children develop at their own
pace.
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